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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?